thought for the day: just say no
The better I get at saying no, the more it irks me that others don’t know how to do it.
I used to be a yes (wo)man. I said yes to everything, anything you needed help with or wanted to do, I was there, with little thought to what I actually wanted or was able to do. I used to put others first, like all ‘good people’ do. But a few years ago, I fell fairly ill and had to change how I do things. I started saying no. The world didn’t end and I didn’t become a horrible person. Actually, I became a better person.
I think more about what I actually want, and when I choose that it’s the same as you, it’s better because it was actively decided upon. Better yet, I’ve learned how to speak up and say no. Which, in my opinion, is a far greater quality than sitting quiet and still in the corner withholding your opinion in fear of offending someone.
Which leads me back to my original point – people that don’t say no bother me. When I ask if a friend wants to hang out and I get silence on the other end. When I follow up with a prospective client and there’s no reply. When I get that stare of ‘why are you asking me this?’ but no words come out. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person – it makes you a great person that I want to hang out with. And if you don’t – well, just say no.